Im Red Like The Kool Aid Man

1 comments Posted by Vicky-Tan at 11:23 PM

So my family went camping this past weekend, well by family I mean uncles and cousins because my parents or brothers didn’t go. I went yesterday with my Madrina (godmother). Also it was my Cousin Bianca’s 20th birthday. So exciting!
So anyways my madrina picked me up at 6:30 a.m.; too early. We arrived maybe around 9:30 a.m. to the camp site. One of my uncles had rented two boats for all of us to sail on the river. A LOT OF FUN!!
So we get on the boats and let me tell you, the sun was super hott! Too hott at that. We dock up on some beach and go for a dip.
I ALMOST DROWNED! So my uncle and I wanted to race to see who can swim faster and no one wanted to join us, because they were too scared. Lol
We went off swimming, and may I add my uncle is a cheater because he every time I would be winning he would pull my leg back so I would fall behind.
So now we are in too deep and it started to feel like someone was pulling down and then my uncle screams out to me, Lets go there’s a current underneath us. That current took me under and my uncle had to go down and get me. It was soo scary.
So we were out there on the boat from 10:00-5:30. So imagine the sun hitting you for that many hours especially in the water, that’s when you burn the most. How can I be red if I’m Mexican??? Lol
My shoulders are so burnt that my bra straps hurt my shoulders. And my face omg! Lol My nose and my cheeks are super red and it hurts when I smile, and I like to smile. =)
I look like the kool aid man!!!!

 

Music!!

1 comments Posted by Vicky-Tan at 12:07 AM

Music,It’s very Powerful,
When it hits me,
I feel nice and cool,

Music is a way to feel,
It can cheer you up when you are sad,
Or calm you down,
When you are mad,

Music can do many things,
It can help you sleep at night,
No matter how you feel,
It will seem all right,

Music many different styles,
Loud or soft,
short or tall,
Styles so numerous,
You couldn’t count them all,

Music can be anything,
It can be summer,
spring or fall,
It can be everything,
Or nothing at all,

Sorry if you don’t agree,
But that is how and why I feel,
Music is as Powerful as it is,
It is here and very real.....

 

Going back!

3 comments Posted by Vicky-Tan at 2:26 PM

Schoool!!!!! How exciting! Not!
I most certainly am not ready to go back to school. Especially, since I am taking up a chemistry course. I am going to need all the help I can get. The only thing I am looking forward to going back to NIU is MY FRIENDS!! I do not know what I would do without them. Whenever I need something I know I can always count on my two best friends! They have helped with A LOT this passed year. And when I say they have helped me they really have. These two girls listened to aaaaall my problems that I had, and for some odd reason I always had some kind of problem. Haha I am so grateful to have found 2 wonderful girls like them. I have so much in common with them but at the same time I don’t. We are all different but when the 3 of us get together there is no stopping us. We even named our selves….”The Triangle”. I just hope returning this year doesn’t change things because we all are doing our own thing. I am living in a sorority house witch is on the other side of campus. But on the other note, I can’t wait to go party and get drunk with my 2 best girlies!!
Thank you for everything loves!!!!

 

Confessions of a Broken-Heart....

3 comments Posted by Vicky-Tan at 11:09 PM

As a child, I never had the thought of questioning a parents love. But as I grow up I question it everyday. Its hard when you are constantly being challenged to be something your not. I ask my self, am I not good enough? Why cant I just be....Me!? Now let me fill you in from the beginng. See I have two older brothers. One who has graduated but didnt really do anything with his degree. He has always seemed to get himself in trouble, or seems to always struggle more. Lets just say he never had the best of luck. My other brother has not yet graduated but he is on his way to a very successful career. He is attending one of the best Universities for engineering. He graduates sometime this spring. He has always had the best oppurtunities at hand. I can say he is pretty lucky. I understand that he has worked really hard for where he is at now, and I just hope I can reach that same potential just like he did. I guess I just need some encouragement and people who believe I can. Im tired of being compared to my older brother. Yes he didnt do great but he is managing on his own. I know I can do it, I know I can become something in life besides someone who just takes up space ( as my dad always tells me and everyone else who crosses our way). See what I want to study is Clinical Lab, now that is a hard field to achieve but I want to prove to my family, especially My DAD that I can do it.
Also, my dad hasnt always been someone to compliment me. His compliments are more like, "your a fatass", or "stop eating, it will do you good." Im not someone who is skinny but Im also not someone who is huge. Yes I agree, it would be nice to lose weight, but its hard to when you are constantly being criticized. Now let me remind you, this has been going on ever since I was 7 or maybe 8, and I am now almost 20 years old, and I still hear this man talk shit about the way I look. For a girl to be made fun of especially her wieght starting at a young age and for many years more, it creates a mentality that she is heavy, ugly, and will always be heavy and ugly. That mentality will not just erase itself with a snap. With time it will slowly grow smaller, but in my case it hasnt. I guess I always wondered is the reason my dad picks on me is because he doesnt care about me? I just dont understand. And its not so much physical abuse, its mental abuse. I have reached a point where I cant deal with it anymore.

Father to daughter.....I only have one questioned?....Did you ever love me??

 

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